It's All My Fault

Yesterday was mine & Jay's 3-year Wedding Anniversary and our 9 years of being a couple anniversary.  I know, I can hardly believe it's been that long myself!  After work we headed to The Keg to celebrate with dinner, which was delicious despite the fact that Jay's steak was cooked medium rare instead of medium like he'd ordered it.  He still ate almost the entire thing and just left a few really pink pieces on the plate.  The waitress offered us complementary dessert to make up for the mistake, but we declined.  Now I didn't decline because I was trying to be healthy.  No, no, I passed because we were in a hurry to leave.  You see, since Paxton's at Auntie Kelly's house this week, we decided to go see a movie after dinner and we had to rush across town to get there.

We were only about 5 minutes late for Harry Potter (yes I went for a second time because Jay wanted to see it).  We grabbed some seats near the front where the wheelchair seating is so we wouldn't have to crawl over anyone and interrupt their movie experience.  And that's when it all started.  You see, on the way to our seats I noticed that there was a stroller containing a child who was probably about a year and a half old parked in one of the wheelchair spaces.  Clearly I am not a child hater since I have a son about that age myself.  H-O-W-E-V-E-R, even if Paxton hadn't been at Kelly's house this week I can guarantee you that he would NOT, under any circumstances, have been at Harry Potter with us.  No, he would have been pawned off on one of our relatives while we enjoyed ourselves.

But I was being optimistic that this child was sleeping or something so as not to disturb other people and settled in to enjoy the show.  Alas, that cup of optimism ended up being half empty.  You see, the aforementioned child (who I will refer to as "The Offspring") happened to be wearing fancy sandals that lit up every time she banged her feet on the plastic foot rest of her stroller.  So not only was this noisy, but also distracting.  I'd liken it to someone who is constantly pulling their cell phone out in a dark movie theater.  Along with the noise/light show produced from the foot banging, The Offspring was keeping up a pretty steady stream of babbling that was interspersed with small bits of silence when her mom deigned to give her some popcorn.  And along with all of that, every time a loud noise/loud music occurred in the movie The Offspring woud yell.  There are A LOT of loud noises and loud music in Harry Potter.

After about 15 minutes of this I'd had way more than enough.  So I leaned across Jay and whiper-shouted in the general direction of the mother (who I will refer to as "The Woman") that some of us were trying to watch the movie and didn't want to listen to her kid (I was assuming that others in the theater shared my building rage over the disturbance).  Well The Woman did not take this revelation very well at all and replied to me that her child was "just an effing kid."  Ummmm ... I was actually quite aware of this fact.  So I threw back at her, "Ya.  That's the point.  It's called a babysitter."  And she made sure I knew she didn't appreciate this information by threatening, "I suggest you just sit back and mind your own business."  *insert alley cat fight noises here*  Since it was our anniversary and I didn't really want to fight her, I sat back ... for about 15 more minutes, at which point I needed to visit the washroom.

After answering Nature's call, I realized just how sick I am of people like The Woman who are rude and inconsiderate of other people's rights.  So, I went and found the manager (dun, dun, duuuuun) and informed her of my complaint.  She was most sympathetic and agreed that this situation was unacceptable.  So we headed back to the theater together.  The manager suggested that I go in first and she'd wait for a bit so that The Woman wouldn't know it was me that had tattled on her.  Despite my faith in The Woman's powers of observation, I was fairly certain that she would figure it out though since we were only sitting about 6 seats down from her.  But I returned to my seat anywy and the manager followed about 1 minute later.  I didn't hear their whole conversation but from the snippets I caught I deduced that the manager told The Woman that The Offspring was disrupting the movie for other patrons and she'd have to leave if it continued.  *insert knife-cutting tension here*

Problem solved?  Oh no.  Shortly after the manager left, a scary/loud scene occurred and The Offspring started crying!  So in true "parent of the year" fashion, The Woman covered The Offspring's mouth to quiet her (because muffled crying is so much less distracting than loud crying).  A lady sitting behind The Woman leaned forward and suggested "rather than smothering her, why don't you just take her outside?"  This would be a reasonable option to most sane people, but The Woman was not in a resonable (or possibly even a sane) mood.  She informed this helpful soul as well that The Offspring was "just an effing kid"  (I can only assume that The Woman wanted to clear up any possible misconceptions about the source of the disturbance) and that she should also "mind her own effing business."  However, in order to talk to the lady behind her, The Woman had to remove her hand from The Offspring's mouth and the loud crying was let loose again.  Well, this rallied the troops since a number of people started yelling at The Woman that they too wanted her to remove The Offspring from the theater.

And that was the straw that broke the camel's back.  The Woman packed up her things in a huff all the while spouting at me about how this was all my fault (and you konw, she was right.  I totally made her bring her young child to a movie that was inappropriate for a child that age.  I know it was only rated PG, but there was a warning of "Frightening Scenes.  Not recommended for young children."  I'd say that 1 1/2 qualifies as a young child).  She finally stormed out with The Offspring in the stroller after emphatically informing the occupants of the theater that she didn't give "an eff" about any of us.  I was personally crushed by this statement but quickly got over my distress and returned my attention to the screen.  Good riddance.

Oh, but the drama wasn't over yet.  Oh no.  About 30 second after The Woman, The Offspring and her significant other (who looked like he was afraid of her) left the theater The Woman returned to give me a piece of her mind.  I don't really think she had any to spare, but that's my opinion.  She stormed across the theater and proceeded to throw her 3D glasses and her cell phone at me.  All the while she was reminding me quite loudly that this was all my fault, confusing me with an "effing" female dog and informing me that she'd be waiting for me outside after the movie.  (I wasn't too concerned about the last bit since there was still at least an hour left to the end of the movie and figured she'd have left by then.)  Eventually The Woman realized that when she'd thrown her phone at me it had bounced off my arm and landed under Jay's seat.  So, like any rational person would, she pretty much jersey-ed Jay out of his chair so she could get to her phone!  Finally, after more threats and expletives and yells from the crowd for her to leave, The Woman exited the theater for good.  But then she had to send her significant other in 3 separate times to get their pop, their popcorn and then one of The Offspring's shoes!

Seriously Woman?  All my fault?  Well I'm sorry that you feel you're the most important person in the world, but I'm officially tired of people like you.  If you had taken your child to an age appropriate film like "Winnie the Pooh" or "Cars 2" (which were actually playing as well) I wouldn't have said anything! (Partly because I wouldn't have been at those shows myself, but that's not the point.)  Take some responsibility for your own actions and choices!  You can't expect a kid that young to sit quietly through any movie let alone something as un-child friendly as the last Harry Potter movie!  Ya, it sucks that you probably dropped about $30 on tickets and refreshments, but every other person in the theater paid to see it as well!  So what makes you think that you are any more important than them?  And after witnessing your behaviour it's no wonder you couldn't get a babysitter ... I don't blame anyone for not wanting to be your friend or help you out!

I'm sick and tired of being part of the silent polite majority.  It's high time that we stop accepting this crap and demand common courtesy from each other!  And judging from the response I got when I posted the abridged version of this as my status, I'm not alone with that feeling.

In case you're wondering, The Woman was not waiting for me after the movie was over.