Mutants

I know that I recently did a post about zombies, but fear not, I'm not doing a series on surviving different types of apocalypses (I'm not sure if that's a word, but I just don't really care to research the proper pluralization of "apocalypse").  No today I am discussing something quite different although I do live in constant fear because of it.  Here's the story (because there's always a story):

My alarm went off at 5 am on Wednesday.  As I lay there trying to convince my body that it was indeed time to get up I noticed that something was not quite right.  It didn't take long for me to figure out what the problem was and once I did I was wide awake.  I got up, dressed for my run (yes I know I don't run on my eliptical, but it's far easier to say "run" than "elipticise") and headed to the bathroom.  And that's when I saw the Mutants.  I wasn't surprised to see them.  I've been dealing with them for about 22 years now.  That burning/tingling/itchy sensation on my lips could be only 1 thing ... cold sores.  That's right plural.  And not only did I have 2 full blown ones when I woke up, but a 3rd developed throughout the day.

If you've never had to deal with "mouthal herpes" (as I have so lovingly dubbed this affliction) count yourself lucky.  Let me describe the awesomeness for you.  Not only must you suffer with the aforementioned burning/tingling/itchy sensation for the first day or two while various regions of your lips swell, but they also look really disgusting.  So that causes you to be super self-conscious and think that everyone is staring at the grotesqueness of your mouth.  Oh, but it gets so much better from there!  After about 48 hours of these sores being disgusting they start to heal.  And by heal I mean they start to turn into scabs.  Scabs on your lips are not really any more attractive than the actual blisters on your lips.  And if you're really lucky you can get them in the corner of your mouth so that every time you yawn or eat, the scabs will crack and bleed.  Doesn't that just sound great?  Now you know why those of us who get cold sores loathe them so much.

You might be wondering why I have titled this post "Mutants" when it's actually about cold sores.  Well, let me enlighten you.  As I mentioned before I've been getting cold sores for about 22 years.  The first one I remember having was in grade 1.  Most likely I either picked it up from my Mom or from the water fountain or some other surface at school (since first graders are not in general the most hygenic creatures).  Well, the stupid virus has mutated over the years.  I no longer get an outbreak when I could possibly do anything to try to stop them.  Oh no, for probably the last 8 years or so every single cold sore I've had has come at NIGHT.  Yes, my mouthal herpes has evolved and mutated into a sentient being that knows that if I am sleeping when it attacks I will be helpless to stop the onslaught.  It's an all out war that I'm losing. *sigh* 

I suppose I'll just have to be resigned to the fact that I'm stuck with these unwelcome visitors for life and continue with my quest to find something that makes them go away faster.  Any suggestions from my fellow sufferers out there?  The only thing I've found that sort of works is icing the tingly spot to almost the point of frostbite.  But since the mutants only come while I'm sleeping that's not generally an option.  I had a prescription for Zovirax in High School but that didn't really help too much.  I've even tried Preparation H (go ahead and laugh) since it's supposed to shrink things!  But nothing really seems to work.

Anywho.  Thanks for listening.