I'll Let The Pictures Do The Talking On This One

As far as I know, no toys were harmed in the making of this episode.  Also, please note that in order to access this particular vent, Paxton had to somehow bypass the coffee table and a rocking chair.  *rubbing temples*

An Unexpected Part of my Life

This is a completely random post.  You have been warned.

I have learned that, as a parent, there are a few different ways to tell if your child has a dirty diaper:
1. Peek/stick a finger down the back of the diaper.  This one doesn't generally work with Paxton since he's usually wearing a onesie so you can't access said back of the diaper.

2. Strip said child down and actually undo the diaper to check it out.  This is not generally the way we operate around here since Paxton has entered the "diaper changes are by far the most cruel thing in the world and I have no idea why my horrible Mother subjects me to this torture multiple times a day and I will contort my body into positions only seen on "The Exorcist" in the hopes of preventing her from finishing said task" phase.  So I try to only do this when he actually needs a diaper change.

3. The "sniff test."  (I'm fairly certain I don't need to elaborate on this but I will just in case there are non-parents out there who are unaware of what this entails.)  This one is my method of choice.  It's not something that I enjoy, but you gotta do what you gotta do (and it beats sticking your finger down there and getting a nasty surprise. blech).  Pick the child up until his derriere is in front of your nose and take a whiff.  Not overly complicated, but also not very pleasant.  But really there's nothing pleasant about diapers.

You may be wondering why I've broached this particularly unpleasant topic.  I'm getting to that.  I'm sure I've mentioned before that we have 2 furry kids in addition to the Rugrat.  Mo is a Boxer.  It is a known fact that Boxers are quite flatulent ... and oh good Heavens do they ever STINK!  (You can almost see it, like in the cartoons when it's a green vapour that never quite dissipates but instead defies the laws of nature and just keeps expanding.)  Well, Mo's farts smell exactly like Paxton's dirty diapers (this could possibly be because Paxton loves to feed the dogs whatever he's supposed to be eating when I'm not looking).  So this means that I spend a large portion of my time with Paxton smelling his bum to determine whether the smell is emanating from him or if it's yet another foul emission that has eeked out of the Big Dog.

This is definitely not something I thought would be such a big part of my role as Mom.  C'est la vie!

Day One

I've been putting this off for a while now, but today is Day One.  You are probably asking yourself, "Day One of what?  Did I miss the memo on this?  Was I not invited?"  Well, I will tell you what today is the first day of: today is the Day One on the journey to a healthier me.  (I know that's slightly anti-climactic, especially if you compare it to something like Day One of Oprah's favorite things giveaway, but it's sort of exciting for me.)

I've been thinking about doing a post such as this one for months now, but I keep putting it off.  I'm guessing that's mostly because once I actually type it and post the pictures, I can't take it back.  I'm committed and then I'll either succeed or fail.  I struggle with my weight.  This is not new.  It's been a problem for my whole life (other than for about 6 months in Grade 12 when I was playing basketball and running for about 2 hours a day.) 

I've said before, I thought that I was so fat back then.  I was actually at the ideal weight for my height in these 2 pictures.  But now, I'd almost be willing to kill someone to look like that again (ok that's an exaggeration).

Part of it is genetics, but the biggest reason is my lifestyle.  I don't like exercise.  I really don't.  And I have a job which requires me to sit at a computer for 8 hours a day.  This is not conducive to losing weight.  When I get home from said job, I don't want to exercise.  I am also so not a morning person so it's tough for me to get up early so I can exercise before work.  This problem is compounded by the fact that Paxton is here now.  I don't ever know if he'll sleep completely through the night or what time he's going to want to get up for the day.  I also like to hibernate in the winter.  I eat a lot of "comfy" food and I am a potato chip-aholic.  I drink too much especially on the weekends when we hang out with friends.  But, I'm tired of using all of these excuses.  I am taking charge.  TODAY IS DAY ONE!

So, here's the most recent picture I have of me:

You may think you've seen it before from my post about my new hair, but this one is not just from the shoulders up.  This one is from the waist up.  I don't like these pictures.  That's probably because they show me what I really look like.  Now don't go all "It doesn't matter to us what you look like!  We love you anyway!  You have such a great personality."  I know that these things are true.  However, I don't like the way I look.  I haven't liked the way I've looked for quite a while.  In fact, I've noticed a distinct lack of pictures of myself because I don't want to be photographed.  I don't like that.  I'm becoming a "from the shoulders up only" type of person.  I might as well just get all my pictures done at the registry office.

So, today is Day One.  I got up at 5:30 am (which was actually not so bad since we went to bed at 8:30 pm and Paxton slept all night) and did some Pillates, some crunches and some reps with my weights.  I did not do a lot of these things because I know that if I overdo it on Day One, I will not continue onto Day Two.  I had 1 piece of multi-grain toast with peanut butter for breakfast.  I also packed a healthy lunch of Sunny Boy (super fiber food) with healthy snacks.  I packed some yogurt, apples, some cranberries and some crackers.  (I need to stock up on veggies, but payday is tomorrow)  I also made sure to check the packaging to see what the actual portion size is.  I have such issues with portion size.  I'm a definite North American with the "clean your plate" attitude.  So I'm also trying to use smaller plates to help "trick" my brain.  I'm trying to eat slower.  This one is tough though.  I've been a "scarfer" for a while now but I'm working on it.  I am also limiting myself to 1 glass of wine (and not brimming) a day.  Except for maybe on a special occasion ... and because it's Thursday is not a special occasion.  I'm also planning to "find" my eliptical in my junk room this weekend.  I've been saying that I'm going to do this in March once I'm not working OT on the weekends anymore, but no more procrastinating.  I need to do this for me.  And if Mother Nature will just cooperate and give us an early spring, I plan to start walking the dogs again every day.

Anyway.  This is my "positive" post about trying to improve my health.  I'll keep you posted.

Being a Mom

*Warning: there is nothing funny in this post.  So if that's what you're looking for you are sadly mistaken.  This one is all sappy and mushy.  That is all.*

My Mom gave me a calendar with 365 quotes about being a Mom for Christmas 2009 (when I'd only been a Mom for 3 weeks).  I love it.  I'm sure it's one of those gifts that she picked up and wondered, "Will Alisha like this?  I'm not sure ..."  But rest assured, Mom, I really do love it.  Most days it gives me a little extra "umph" in the morning or reminds me about what's really important when I'm stressed out.  I remember today's quote from when I saw it last year and thoght that I'd share it with everyone.  And then I thought that maybe I'll keep doing it.  So be prepared, if there's a quote I really like, I might just throw it on here.  Even if you're not a Mom yourself, they might remind you of your own Mom, or another important woman in your life, or maybe even yourself!

So here's today's quote:
"A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie." - Tenneva Jordan

I don't know why I like this one so much, but it just strikes a chord with me :)

And I thought I'd take a look back through January's quotes and put some of those up as well. (maybe they'll provide some inspiration for a Mother's Day gift or card?)

"A mother is the truest friend we have." - Washington Irving

"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children." - William M. Thackeray

"Motherhood: All love begins and ends there." - Robert Browning (LOVE this one!)

"Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same." - Pearl S. Buck

"There is in all this world no fount of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within a mother's heart." - Felicia Hemans

"No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother's love." - Edwin H. Chapin

"A mother is the one who is still there when everyone else has deserted you." - Author Unknown

"There's only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it." - Chinese Proverb

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." - Washington Irving

"No gift to your mother can ever equal her gift to you - life." - Author Unknown

"You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you ahve truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." - Henry Drummond

Hope you liked at least one of these!

Back from the Ledge

I just wanted to let everyone know that my world is back on its axis today.  I have stepped back from my proverbial ledge thanks in large part to the loving support of my friends and family.  Love you all!

I'm sure that there will be more meltdowns to come, but we made it through this one!

Captain Crabby Pants

That was me today.  I seriously had one of these days. 

It started off fairly early.  Paxton woke up at 2:50 am and I got up with him rather than ignoring him because he's got yet another bum rash, (We just barely got his last one cleared up about a week ago, and now he has another one.  But I'm pretty sure this one is from teething ... I think?) I'm super paranoid about just leaving him to cry just in case he has a messy diaper.  There is really not much that makes me feel worse than when Paxton's had a messy diaper that he's sat in for a while.  Ugh.  Probably not what you want to hear, but it's my crabby day. 

Anyways, so I changed him and gave him a bottle and put him back to bed.  However, I also had a headache when I got up with him.  I figured it would go away while I was sleeping, but it was still there when my alarm went off at 6:15 am.  I managed to sneak a shower in before Paxton completely woke up, but I could hear him sort of crying while I was in there.  After my shower I was informed by the DJ that it was currently -37 celcius but with the wind chill it was -44 celcius.  Great.  That meant I had UFC with Paxton to look forward to. (Seriously.  I don't know what it is in the morning, but that kid hates getting his coat/hat/mittens/scarf/boots on.  But then Jay picks him up from the dayhome and he's all "Oh he puts one arm in his coat and then the other arm in ... it's like he knows how to get dressed by himself."  Really?  Who's kid are you picking up from daycare?  'Cuz it's not the same one I dropped off!)

So we went about our morning routine, and then I went out to start the van.  (Yes it was even too cold to use my remote starter because it only runs for like 10 minutes, and I needed to let it run longer than that so that it would be warm for the boy).  That's when I noticed the dog puke by the front door.  Now, this is not regular dog puke, like one of them was actually sick or something.  No, this is some sort of frothy yellow-ish disgustingness that happens when they get really excited about something ... like Jay coming back inside or something like that.  It's just sooooooooo annoying!  But, I cleaned that up.  Then, just as I was getting ready to start UFC with Paxton, I heard him fill his pants ... literally.  You Moms out there know what that sounds like.  So off to the bedroom we went and I got to change pretty much his entire outfit (I saved his outer shirt because of my swiftness.  Oh, and his socks were ok too.).  Now we were running behind.  After some UFC action, we headed out the door and into our daily commute.  At this point I got stuck behind someone who refused to drive over 30 kph.  I know that we just had a huge dump of snow over the weekend, but COME ONE!  The roads are not that bad!  And because I was forced to drive behind this person, I probalby had a good 5 minutes added to my commute (which I know is not really that bad since it usually takes about 8 minutes to get to the dayhome and then about 5 minutes to get to work.  I know this is nothing compared to many other places on Earth, but it's really just the essence of being stuck behind a slow driver).

After dropping Paxton off I headed to work.  That's when things got really awesome.  You may have previously picked up on the fact that we are ridiculously busy in my department currently.  January and February are out 2 busiest months of the year.  If this is the first time you're hearing about this, let me explain how busy we are.  For the other 9 months of the year, (I know that only adds up to 11 months, but there might be some overflow into March) someone who is processing the same stuff as me will probably have anywhere from 1 - 5 cases in their inventory at one time.  I currently have 27 ... which is as of this morning, so it's entirely possible that I will have more tomorrow.  Ya, I know.  It's slightly stressful.  So, I show up being in not the best of moods and proceeded to start my day.  Well, let's just say that it didn't get any better.  It pretty much was like everything I worked on turned to crap.  And even some of the stuff I worked on yesterday or last week had turned to crap as well, although I didn't find out about it until today.  And then I was getting so frustrated and angry that I started to have tears.  And that just made me more mad and frustrated because I didn't used to cry so much!  It's really quite embarassing.  Crying is my "default" emotion, but I used to have better control over it.  I swear that my hormones have still not returned to normal since I had Paxton.  And I actually told one of my friends to just leave me alone (and I did feel really bad about it) because that was the only way I was going to be able to get through the day.  I needed to be able to just sit in my cocoon of misery and be left absolutely alone.  It worked out pretty well, (sicne I had the foresight to take my iPod charger with me.  If I hadn't done that, I'm pretty sure I would have gone Postal) and I did in fact make it through the day (which you probably guessed since I'm blogging about it now).

But that is not the end.  To add a most fitting ending to this awful day, I lost track of time while finishing up a case, and ended up not leaving until 6:45 pm!  (I'm usually done at 4:45 pm, but I've been staying until around 6 pm for OT).  So I arrived home about an hour before Paxton's bed time to a grumpy husband because Paxton and the dogs were driving him batty all afternoon. (Kudos to said husband for trying really hard to not grump at me since he knew I was having a crappy day already)  But, we got supper done and the boy to bed, and I'm headed to my own bed once I finish this.  And yes it is 8:50 pm right now.  Being an adult is so overrated.  Why don't they teach you  that in high school?

Here's to hoping that tomorrow is better!

At least I have pictures of this guy as my wallpaper at work to make me smile ... that is when I'm not busy feeling guilty about leaving him at daycare all day. *sigh*